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Holistic Medicine and Health : SPIRIT

Before considering the matter at hand (forgiveness in holistic medicine and health) there is an important note of caution:  This page is to address  the common offenses that happen in all of our lives, and the need for forgiveness that not only heals our spirits, but can also boost our physical health.

There is no intent; however, that you should maintain relationships that are consistently damaging (and certainly never stay in a relationship that is emotionally or physically abusive).  Forgiveness is critical in all things, even matters of abuse, but to allow yourself or children to be a constant target of neglect or abuse is unhealthy and potentially dangerous.  If you are in an abusive situation (or your children are), strop reading and GET OUT (physically) NOW.  Contact the police or local shelter for help.  For state-by-state (USA) resources on abuse (this is mainly sexual abuse help), click here.

In all major religions the concept of "forgiveness" has been central.  In holistic health and medicine too often the concept of forgiveness is almost never even mentioned - when it is, it's merely glossed-over.

In fact, forgiveness is critical to facilitate the healing of not only our bodies, but also our families, our country, and society at large.

Modern science has proven - over and over - that those who carry 'grudges' and will not forgive others (often such people also do not forgive themselves) are most prone to poor health and chronic illness.

The longer a person refuses to forgive - and let the 'offense' fester in their own mind and spirit - the more this affects their lives, including their health.  (When one's health goes down, so do all other aspects of one's life.  It then is subject to the 'snowball effect.)

Forgiveness is often not easy (though it should be stated here that anger is a personal choice, it is never thrust upon us), but it is critical to improve health and personal (even group) happiness.  The ability and ACTION of forgiving others must be the first bottle of holistic medicine that we take for wholeness and wellness - physical and emotional.

Of course, forgiveness does not mean putting yourself in the same position that allowed the problem to exist in the first place.  Such would be foolish.  To "forgive and forget" - while sounding nice - is unwise.  To forgive and thus no longer dwell on the offender/offense is the ideal.

Consider the following true story - and then consider offenses of others in your life and how you can heal yourself through forgiveness, and improve their life as well:

“How would you feel toward a teenager who decided to toss a 20-pound frozen turkey from a speeding car headlong into the windshield of the car you were driving? How would you feel after enduring six hours of surgery using metal plates and other hardware to piece your face together, and after learning you still face years of therapy before returning to normal—and that you ought to feel lucky you didn’t die or suffer permanent brain damage?

“And how would you feel after learning that your assailant and his buddies had the turkey in the first place because they had stolen a credit card and gone on a senseless shopping spree, just for kicks? …

“This is the kind of hideous crime that propels politicians to office on promises of getting tough on crime. It’s the kind of thing that prompts legislators to climb all over each other in a struggle to be the first to introduce a bill that would add enhanced penalties for the use of frozen fowl in the commission of a crime.

“The New York Times quoted the district attorney as saying this is the sort of crime for which victims feel no punishment is harsh enough. ‘Death doesn’t even satisfy them,’ he said.

“Which is what makes what really happened so unusual. The victim, Victoria Ruvolo, a 44-year-old former manager of a collections agency, was more interested in salvaging the life of her 19-year-old assailant, Ryan Cushing, than in exacting any sort of revenge. She pestered prosecutors for information about him, his life, how he was raised, etc. Then she insisted on offering him a plea deal. Cushing could serve six months in the county jail and be on probation for 5 years if he pleaded guilty to second-degree assault.

“Had he been convicted of first-degree assault—the charge most fitting for the crime—he could have served 25 years in prison, finally thrown back into society as a middle-aged man with no skills or prospects.

“But this is only half the story. The rest of it, what happened the day this all played out in court, is the truly remarkable part.

“According to an account in the New York Post, Cushing carefully and tentatively made his way to where Ruvolo sat in the courtroom and tearfully whispered an apology. ‘I’m so sorry for what I did to you.’

“Ruvolo then stood, and the victim and her assailant embraced, weeping. She stroked his head and patted his back as he sobbed, and witnesses, including a Times reporter, heard her say, ‘It’s OK. I just want you to make your life the best it can be.’ According to accounts, hardened prosecutors, and even reporters, were choking back tears” (“Forgiveness Has Power to Change Future,” Deseret Morning News, Aug. 21, 2005, p. AA3).

Finally, read the story of "Hidden Wedges" and then meditate on it.